New Year, New Goals

Kia ora everyone, I know it’s been a while but I’m back!

There is nothing I love more than a new year, obviously you can start new goals and revamp your life any day of the year, but there is just something about a new year to give me an extra kick up the ass.

I have a range of personal and business goals that I am super keen to smash this year and I thought I would share them with everyone. Mainly to keep me accountable to be honest with you, I usually get half way through the year and decide I want new goals, or I just can’t be bothered but I am super determined this time.

I have decided 2017 is my bitch, and I am going to achieve some shit this year. So here is the list of my personal goals:

1. Lose 10kg
2. Lose 50cm all over body
3. Squat 150kg, Deadlift 120kg, Bench 70kg
4. Have a healthy relationship with food
5. Establish a good routine
6. Be off my antidepressants
7. Pay off my overdraft
8. Save $3000
9. Manage my anxiety
10. Be a consistent size 12
11. Ryan and I stay a solid couple
12. Read 30 books
13. Be more grateful
14. Maintain a positive attitude
15. Meditate a couple of times a week

Some are more general than others, but I am so motivated and am making steps to achieve these goals every single day.

This year is also the year for RC Fitness; I am going to grow this business and make it successful. I have a set of goals to achieve for RC Fitness:

1. PT being my main source of income
2. Have a good reputation
3. RC Fitness have a client base of 25 clients
4. Have my own studio/garage to train out of
5. Be an inspiration to my clients and vice versa
6. Build a strong company in the public eye

Here’s to 2017 and all of us smashing our goals out!

 

xx

Reasons You Should Exercise

Exercise never used to be a staple part of my day, I used to dread it and avoid it at any cost. But these days I have discovered so many benefits I never knew about and they make it 10000% worth the hard yards.

Exercise has not only helped me become stronger physically but also helped me become a more positive person in general.

Here are my top 5 reasons you should start exercising:

1. // YOU FEEL STRONGER 
This is such a huge reason as to why I have kept going on this journey for so long. The feeling of being able to lift heavier weights than the week before is so exciting. Being able to see progress is the most motivating thing for me. Not only feeling physically stronger but mentally as well is incredible. Feeling like you could take on the world after an hour at the gym is such an amazing feeling. It is almost indescribable.

2. // YOU’RE MORE PRODUCTIVE
I find getting up in the morning and working out will help me stay motivated for the rest of the day. Being home about 9am after a good workout leaves you so much time during the day to get everything you need to done without having to worry about when you’re going to fit your workout in.

3. // IT HELPS TO IMPROVE YOUR MEMORY 
That’s right, being active and regularly exercising can help your memory. Because there is so much oxygen flowing through your brain I find my mind feels so clear and open. I make better more informed decisions and feel confident about remembering things I need to with a clearer head.

4. // SLEEP BETTER
I am such a busy person and when I fit a workout into my day it boosts my energy for the day but as soon as it comes to night time I sleep so much better. I go to bed mentally  but also physically tired. I used to have so much trouble getting to sleep but since I started exercising I fall asleep quicker than I ever have before and actually wake up feeling refreshed.

5. // BETTER POSTURE 
I have also been a shocker for not standing up straight and slouching and just all round being lazy, after I begun exercising and my muscles started developing I have found that I have been able to support my body properly. As my stomach muscles develop my back straightens and I can sit up straight and stand in a better position for my body.

There are my top 5 reasons you should start working out! It has made such a positive impact in my life and I just want to share it with so many people. Let me know if you have found another benefit of working out that I haven’t put in this post!

 

xx

Positive Attitude

I have been doing a bit of reading combined with my past experiences with CBT therapy and just general conversations with people that there is one thing that is the meant to be the biggest contributor to a positive life.

When I was younger my mum actually told me about this book she’d read called “The Secret” by Rhonda Byren. Talking all about the secret to a fulfilling life. To be honest I wasn’t really interested in it, I would listen to what she had to say and kind of not take much notice of it (sorry Mum). In one ear and out the other as the expression goes. But then I started to do some reading, I came across an article on Tumblr I think it was about this one person who had really focussed on being more open minded towards new possibilities. It was incredible, all the stories she wrote were about all the great things that had happened to her since she decided to be more open. Obviously, as you probably are, thought yes please, I will definitely like to have a piece of that pie thanks. So I started to look into it more and do my own reading.

I found that she had actually written a book for teenagers as well called “The Secret to Teen Power” so I got a copy and started reading. In the beginning it all sounded a bit spiritual for me, and I felt a little uncomfortable with the strategies I was reading about. Around the same time I was dealing with a few mental health issues so I thought I would try and help myself by reading this book and getting some insight. Long story short I finished the book, tried to apply things to my life and realised I didn’t quite understand what I was doing. When I went and talked to my doctor about what was going on I was referred to Youth Services and I talked to case manager when we met up about this book and how I wanted to adopt the thought patterns it was talking about. She helped me go through the process, did some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with me (basically retraining the thought patterns and getting to the real root of the my problems and dealing with them from the ground up, it’s really helpful if you want to know more about it just google it) and taught me the simple ways in which I could start to adopt these strategies and make them work for me.

So, is everyone ready to know what the key is. Maybe you didn’t know the key existed and I am the first one to introduce you to it, or tell you about it.. if so then I am truly honoured.

The key to a positive life is….. a positive attitude. I know some people think that may have been obvious, everyone knows what a positive attitude is, they know it’s good for them and they know it can help in tough situations but do they really make a real effort to apply it to everything in their day to day life.

You might be going through a tough time and think you really need to change your thinking towards this particular situation/s and it might help you get through it. That’s the first step so that’s great. But next, try and apply it to everyday things and not just the negative ones. Be thankful for the positive in your day, even if it’s as small as the sun coming up this morning. Have a positive outlook because if the sun comes up every morning and welcomes the new day then you can to. Have a positive attitude when dealing with other people, even if they are grumpy try and make their day even a little but better by smiling at them when they walk past or even saying a quick hello. For your friends and family you could remind them of how much they look you and how much you value your relationship with them, that’s something positive for you and them.

You can do so much when you have a positive attitude. You can achieve things you never thought you could achieve. Personally, this has come in handy so many times, when I feel myself sinking a bit low I will go and have a bath or stand in the shower and really reconnect with the positivity and list all the things in my life that I am grateful for and be thankful for everything around me.

If you can get the hang of turning every situation that arises into something positive you will live a much more fulfilling life than those around you. Even if a situation arises that is not ideal and you do have to deal with it, do it in a way that gets it done and then you can be thankful that you had the strength to deal with it. Whenever you have a negative thought catch yourself and turn it into a positive. Everything has a flip side, where there is a good thing there is a bad thing hiding behind it. If you choose to focus on the bad things then you come to expect bad things and subconsciously you will never truly be happy with anyone or anything because deep down you believe something could have been better and what you received wasn’t really good enough. The more positive vibes you emit into the world the better of you will be.

Come to peace with the world, come to peace with the fact that you and no one else is perfect. Come to peace with the fact not everything will work out all the time, but also keep in mind if something doesn’t work out, no matter how heartbreaking, it means there is something even better waiting for you in the future.

When you put out positive vibes to everything in your surroundings they will respond with positive vibes. You continue to feed off the vibes until it becomes infectious and then everyone around you will feel the same positive buzz that you do because you have made it become part of everyone’s daily lives. They’ll be thanking you for lightening up the environment. It is better for you, better for everyone else and just better for everything.

 

xx

Don’t Skip the Rest!

We all need time to relax, no matter what our schedule, no matter what our commitments or circumstances are everyone needs to take time out. Whether it’s alone time, or with someone else take a day or two and do whatever it is YOU want to do. Sleep in if you want to, spend some time in nature, go for a walk, binge watch a TV series, do anything that makes your soul happy.

There are usually signs that I find when I know its time to take some time out and just do me for a day or two. They will differ for each individuals but here are mine:

1. CAN’T STOP BEING TIRED
I know its time to take a day off when no matter how early I go to bed and how much sleep I get if I just can’t stop being tired I know it’s time to refresh myself so I can be more productive and just be in a better frame of mind.

2. FEELING EXTREMELY IRRITABLE
If you start snapping at the people around for no reason at all, it’s time to sit down and re evaluate your attitude and whats going on around you. It’s not fair on the people around you so take some time out and get the anger out of your system.

3. EXTREMELY STRESSED
Everything is a big deal, you drop a plate and you want to scream at the plate and blame it for making you drop it, or you feel so overwhelmed with the few tasks you know you need to get done. That for me is the last straw, I say to myself, right time to take a step back.

There is nothing wrong with needing time out, you’re a human being, you’re allowed to feel tired and irritable and stressed but it’s the way you deal with it determines what sort of person you are. People say it’s weak to admit you need a rest and you need to push push push your way through it, but I believe it’s okay to take a rest. Take time to recharge your batteries, when I feel stressed my productivity level drops so I would rather take some time out and come back fighting fit and ready to go again.

Look after yourselves, and take care.

Why I Hate the Word Diet

Everyone knows the connotations with the word diet right? Lose weight is the main one, but to feel healthier and have more energy are also reasons why people decide to go on a diet. But what if I told you there was a way to do all those things while also not excluding yourself from everyone else’s yummy treats.

Rather than being on a diet, what I find much easier is living a balanced life. as in, don’t avoid all junk foods all the time. you can have them, but the key is in moderation. Unfortunately that doesn’t mean every second day though.

Changing your lifestyle rather than going on a diet has so many advantages:

1. // ACCOMPLISHMENT

When you stick to a diet for a length of time you feel good about yourself right? Good. so you should. But the thing about diets is they typically end. Once they end your likely to go back to how you were eating before and undo all the great things you did for your body. If you were to change your lifestyle and indulge in treats once in a while you won’t deprive yourself of the things you want which will make staying committed much easier. And the longer you keep going the more benefits you will reap and continue to reap are much more than those of a diet.

2. // FLEXIBILITY

You ever been on a diet and your friends ask you to go out for dinner but you have to refuse because you can’t find any healthy alternatives at the restaurant they’ve picked? I know I have. So why not be a little but flexible and go out for dinner and enjoy it, because let’s be honest, life is to short not to enjoy things… especially food. But if you can find the balance in your nutrition you’ll thank yourself when the rewards you’ve earned  just keep coming.

3. // ENJOYMENT

There are plenty of foods out there that just really are not good. loaded with calories and filled with saturated fat but they taste so good right? Well you can still eat those foods. because living a BALANCED lifestyle you can. Make the most of the social situations you’re invited to, and the fine dining opportunities that come up, live your life.

4. // MENTAL WELLNESS

Personally, being on a diet as per say makes me feel stressed and upset. I feel like I am constantly on edge just waiting for myself to have the chance to slip up. I am actively avoiding areas where I know I will find strong temptation. I always feel find I feel uptight and get super irritable because I’m trying to hard. living a balanced life you are able to relax, eat what you want within reason obviously and just practice making good choices. Nothing bad ever goes into your mouth unless you make the decision to put it there.

So, the lesson is here: don’t do “diets” whatever they promise. whether it be lose 10kg in 4 weeks. it’s a marketing scheme. I mean yes, you might lose 10kg in a month but it’s such a short term solution. You go back to eating how you were before going on this wonder diet you put on the weight you lost and more. I’ll do another blog post soon about my experience with a diet I thought was wonderful. So keep a look out for that.

Just eat sensibly, and please always remember no matter your age, gender, height weight or body composition you’re gorgeous and you deserve to feel it.

xx

Nutrition Myths

There are thousands and thousands of suggestions on how to lose weight on the internet. Some are more outrageous than others but the purpose of this blog post is to reveal the ones that have no truth to them.

Disclaimer: These were discussed in one of my classes at Ara Institute of Technology by my Nutrition tutor Dr Nick Kimber. 

I really want this information to be more widely accessible and to inform a wider range of people of the information I wish one day to be common knowledge.

1. A lot of people believe that not consuming carbohydrates after about 5/6pm will aid in losing weight. This is not the case.

2. You don’t have to worry much about the foods you eat if you work out often and your weight is average. This is also false.

3. Skipping breakfast to help with not eating as many calories in a day. I can definitely say I have done this, at the time it seemed logical but it is really unhealthy. When you eat breakfast you start your metabolism for the day, also helps with digestion for the rest of the day.

4. I regret to inform you chocolate is not a source that contributes to your daily dose of antioxidants. *cries with you*

5. Eating protein and carbohydrates together will affect the digestion process and reduce nutrient absorption. This is not correct.

 

xx

 

Friday Inspiration

This is a topic I could write forever about, I am so passionate about this and spreading the message to everyone that I just want to stand on top of the world somehow and shout it out so everyone, everywhere can hear it.

Some people will be able to relate to this, some won’t.

Being overweight sucks, it sucks balls. Not going to sugarcoat it, you can try and fluff it up all you want, but the health risks and the barriers do exist. They are there, no matter how much society wants you to believe everyone is invincible, they aren’t.

BUT! There is such a massive but here, (also a massive butt, cause we squat 😉 ) if you take the necessary steps to be safe in what you do, you can achieve anything.

Coming from an overweight background I understand how hard it is to move around, to go shopping with your friends and not fit anything, to secretly stuff your face full of chocolate and chips and Maccas in your car before you get home from work. At the time you love it, but you feel so embarrassed about the fact that you find it really difficult to stop yourself from overeating that you have to hide it from everybody. That makes it even harder to ask for help because 1, you have to admit to yourself you have a problem and need someone else to help you deal with it and 2, you have to be honest with someone else about the extent of the problem and admit what food you eat and how much you eat. It’s one of the hardest things I have done.

I had tried many times, to be healthy and lose weight. I did it, a few times, but it wasn’t in a healthy way and I put on twice as much twice as fast as I lost it so once I found this way I wanted to make sure everyone knew about it. I want to make people like me, men and woman feel as empowered about health and wellness as I now do.

Becoming a personal trainer was such a massive life direction change, if someone had told me a year ago I would no longer be at Uni I would be studying to work in a gym and help change people’s lives I think I would’ve honestly laughed in your face. I would’ve thought it was the most ridiculous thing in the world. Being where I am now, I can’t see any other options for me, nothing would fulfil me as much as being the person to change someone’s life for the better, and be that positive influence for someone like my trainer is for me.

Coming into the industry I feel as though I have somewhat of an edge compared to others, not trying to blow my own trumpet or anything I just feel as though I can relate to people because of where I started in my journey. Weighing in at 117kg, no self confidence, an anxiety disorder and next to no motivation I know how hard it can be to get yourself up in the morning and head into the gym before the rest of your family and friends are awake. Having to turn down going out for dinner with friends because you know you don’t want to be put in the position where you might overindulge and ruin everything you’d done that week.

Becoming a personal trainer one of my biggest aspirations is to inspire people like me. In particular girls, no I am not being sexist, I just believe that I can understand the issues they face alot more than I can boys. I want to be the person they text at 10pm at night because they really want to go and get McDonalds because they had a shitty day, I want to be given the opportunity to share my experiences and my mistakes so others can learn from them.

I hope this post inspires just one person to look after themselves, maybe someone who has been thinking about it for a while but wasn’t to sure how to begin, or what to do, but wants to feel the change and in turn change the rest of their life. If anyone needs anything, support, motivation, stories, experiences, advice I will do my best to provide you with all of those.

Please, if you are thinking about it reach out to someone. Find someone you trust, or someone you don’t know might be easier. Confess everything, write it all down and burn it. Or just make a small change in your life that you can build on in the months and years to come. It takes one little change to produce results, once you start seeing those results it will fuel your motivation fire and you take it from there.

You can do this. If you take nothing away from this post, please just remember that you are brave, you are beautiful and if you are committed you can do anything you set your mind too.

 

xx

‘But I’ll get bulky’ Women & Weights

In this society people associate lifting weights as a male thing, males lift weights to get ‘bulky’ and muscly and that’s something a girl shouldn’t be unless she’s you know, a body builder. I am here to tell you that is all false.

That is not how it works, lifting weights is one of the most underrated ways to lose weight. If you think about it logically all the benefits are right there.

1. You get stronger
2. You can work hard so you can out lift some men
3. You lose weight
4. You can easily track your progress strength wise
5. IT’S FUN

Women go to the gym and they use a couple of machines, run on the treadmill or bike and do some core work but what if I told you there was a much more entertaining way to experience the gym? The magic word is free weights.

Free weights are so universal, no matter how strong you are, how experienced you are and what you like training you can easily make a routine up for yourself that will be more beneficial than just doing boring old cardio. I mean don’t get me wrong cardio is important, cardiovascular fitness is great but you can get that through lifting weight as well. I know, I know… you’re sitting there asking me how. Well, the less rest time between sets (volume training) the higher your heart rate stays therefore training your cardiovascular system as well as working on your strength. It really is the best of the both worlds.

For the women that believe lifting weights makes you ‘bulky’ and you don’t want to look muscly and manly, I promise you you won’t. Lifting weights is so good for your physical and psychological health and women don’t tend to get bulky unless they really know what they’re doing and are training a certain way and eating a certain way. General weightlifting and weight workouts will only make you feel stronger, tone you up and help you lose weight if that’s what your goal is.

In saying this, please don’t just run off to the gym and jump in the squat rack and try and squat heavy, take the time to research the exercises that you want to do depending on what your goals are, and please, please either get a personal trainer or a friend that knows what they’re doing to show you and make sure you are performing the lift in the correct form. It is so easy to hurt yourself if you don’t know what you’re doing. You could even have a look on YouTube and if all else fails just flick me a message and I’m more than happy to give you some pointers.

Happy lifting boss ladies,

xx

Motivation.

I recently watched a snapchat video from my one and only Ashy Bines and it got me thinking. She was talking about motivation vs discipline and I’ve been asked a few questions about how I stay motivated lately so thought I’d write a post about it.

Motivation and discipline are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Motivation means you want to try hard and keep pushing through and discipline is doing it even though you don’t particularly want to at that time. So they are very prevalent within my life and everybody else’s.

If someone tells you their 100% motivated to reach their goal 100% of the time I can almost guarantee you they are lying. Obviously everyone has goals, whether they’re fitness or health related or not but on the other hand everyone is also human. Humans get sick, they get tired, fall off track and just plain old give up sometimes. It’s natural. If you talked to some of the most successful people in the world they’d tell you that it was not an easy road. I mean look at Walt Disney, he got turned down a few times before s production company listened to his ideas. Mark Zuckerberg dropped out of college and  look at where is is now.

I believe failing and giving up and having to stand back up again makes someone journey, no matter what it is, that much more impressive. I mean great if you can do it first go, I really admire you. But I feel people are more authentic if they’ve been at the bottom end of something. I feel like they know how hard t can be and therefore I look up to them more .

Anyway, I’ve gone a bit off track. But my everyone bounds out of bed everyday ready to drink their green smoothie and go to the gym. It’s just not a realistic expectation to have for yourself. On the days that does occur, great. On the days where you cant wait to get to the gym and workout and then go home for your vege packed lunch that’s awesome! Don’t take those days for granted. Because some days you’re going to have to drag your sorry ass out of bed, stomach something for breakfast and force yourself to get to the gym. The first scenario is having motivation, the second is discipline. You get up and do it even though you don’t want to because you know if you don’t you’ll regret it.

In saying that there’s always the other end of the spectrum, just needing to take a day off and listening to your body. If your body is screaming at you and you really can’t push through then take it easy and get right back into it the next day.

Hope this has helped.

xx

Cardio vs Weights

There are many differing opinions in the fitness industry about the ‘right’ way to do things. This by all means is not the be all and end all of the way to lose weight or tone up, this is just my opinion. I prefer lifting weights over cardio. It’s worked for me so I don’t see any reason why it won’t work for any of you.

Obviously, cardio is important for cardiovascular fitness but in terms of weight loss.. I think weightlifting is the way to go. There are so many benefits that you get from lifting weights, losing weight, toning up, gaining muscle mass and most importantly FEELING strong. Feeling strong, mentally and physically, is the most important thing above all else. If you’re not feeling happy but you look thinner then what was the point?

The reason I believe that lifting weights is better for losing weight over cardio is because when you do cardio, yes it burns calories and fat, but instead of turning the fat inside your body into muscle it just burns it and you’re left with loose skin. When you weight train your fat cells turn into muscle, therefore you tone up and your skin tightens gradually. Yes, it’s the hard way to do it. It takes longer, and it’s more hard work and effort but the results are long term.

The more muscle you have the more energy you burn, and thats the fundamental to weight loss. Energy in and energy out. If you can burn more during the day doing your day to day activities and while you’re sleeping but continue to eat the same amount of energy to match your activity level then the more weight you will lose. Makes sense right?

Obviously I am in no way super qualified to be telling everyone you must do this and you must do that, but it has worked for me and I believe in the science behind it.

 

xx

Exercise and Mental Health

This is a topic I could write about forever. Personally, suffering from GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and previous history with depression I know how hard it can be. When the doctor tells you that exercise is a great way to start to help make yourself feel better, your heart sinks. The last thing you feel like doing is putting on gym gear and going and working out, even at home, because you just feel so gross. You feel disgusting, sluggish and feel like you don’t have any energy left after just trying to stay afloat that day. You’ve finally plucked up the courage to go and get some help about how you’re feeling recently and your doctor tells you to go and away and try exercise, lets be honest, it’s not the most motivating thing in the world, but I am telling you exercise is one of the most underrated anti depressant out there.

I know it’s hard to get started, I know it’s hard to get going and just do little bits. But you can do it, start small. Start by getting up 20 minutes earlier in the morning, chucking some clothes on and you favourite music and walking for 15 minutes before breakfast. Make it a habit, if you don’t do anything else that day you have at least achieved something and on some days, that’s the most important thing. Just doing SOMETHING.

I am the biggest advocate for exercise helping mental health, I believe that it should be something everyone makes time for at least once a day. Take half an hour out of your day, schedule it, make yourself do it, but take that time do get your heart rate up and maybe even sweat a little bit, I can almost guarantee you that it will positively impact your day.

Personally, I started exercising and being more interested in my health and wellbeing when I got to rock bottom with my body image. I was done being the fat girl, done being the girl who sat in her car and ate chocolate so other people wouldn’t see it, done being the girl who didn’t go shopping with her friends because she knew the clothes they would be trying on she had no hope of fitting into. I saw it as an experiment, I didn’t know what else to do. My friend at the time and I joined the gym near our house and decided to invest in a personal trainer, someone to keep me accountable and to encourage me along the way.

In the beginning actually getting there a couple of times a week was hard, I was working a alot, was tired and just wanted to sleep when I wasn’t working. But I knew I saw her every week and she could tell if I hadn’t been in other than with her by my strength.

After a while, the gym became my sanctuary. It was the place I got away from everything, concentrated on the control I had over my mind and body while I was in there. I was competing against myself, no one would know if I didnt go, or gave up but I have always had a strong competitive streak in me so giving up would not do. I was the one who put my body under stress, I had control over how much pain I was in and what exercises I would do that day. I HAD CONTROL OVER SOMETHING IN MY LIFE.

That’s the main point, I had control. I decided what to do and how I wanted to feel at that time and that has been the most helpful thing in my recovery. I really do urge you, if you are struggling with mental health, try going for a walk and doing some ab work. Or even, stretching. Just move your body. Good luck.

xx

Sixteen Steps to Happiness…

I am always looking for constant inspiration and motivation. Scrolling through thousands of Instagram posts, Tumblr hashtags, support pages on Facebook and every now and then I come across gold. I am all for holistic health, taking care of yourself and listening and trying to take note of what your body is trying to tell you. I came across this little article that The Artidote wrote so full credit to them, but I felt the need to share this as it really spoke to me, and I felt as though I could really closely relate so I’m sure many of you will be able to as well.

Sixteen Steps to Happiness – The Artidote

1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world – start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.

2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier – start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.

3. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.

4. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.

5. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.

6. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.

7. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.

8. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.

9. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.

10. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.

11. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.

12. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.

14. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.

15. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.

16. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.

xx